My Drive & Purpose.

Photo by Victoria Lewis on Film / Shot at Uptown Shots

Two weeks ago, my application to run the 2021 Chicago Marathon was accepted (YAY!), and like any big commitment, it has thrown my existing routine out the door and having to restart a completely new routine. While the routine is familiar, it’s been overwhelming in the context of post-2020 as it’s another life and schedule restructuring after not yet fully gaining control of my schedule.

The outpouring of love from my friends, family and community has been awesome. Everyone’s encouraging words really do keep me going. But for some reason, this particular race has put me in a mental overdrive of why do I do this and why do you all care so much? I low-key think most of ya’ll take pleasure in seeing me wear myself out physically...lol. I kid, I kid.

With the Chicago Marathon announcement, the message I got the most was something like “how do you do IT?” It’s not the literal, “how do you run a business?” “how do you run a marathon?” The “it” is like people wanting the answer of how I operate, what magical source of energy am I drinking from. Back in my corporate job, I literally had one of my team members seriously ask me if I was on or took drugs, because they couldn’t comprehend how I was always so energetic, focused, yet calm and beyond happy.

All of this has me thinking about my “it” and my “why”  a lot lately. So I thought I’d share what I’ve been mentally unpacking on my runs.

I operate from place of clear purpose and intention. Throughout my life, I had to create the shell of the person I wish I could have seen on TV, in my community, in school growing up. I always challenged the standard timeline and expectations of a woman. I believe I had more to offer than just get a job, get married and be a vessel for a child. I was always too much for most people because I literally marched to the beat of my own drum, yet one thing I never did was silence my inner savage nor aim to please every one. What I did instead was I decided I would create this woman in my head and I told myself I would be HER. Beautiful, strong, brave, driven, smart, compassionate, athletic, silly, vulgar, business savvy, fun, life of the party - I could be ALL of it. I would stop at nothing to bring HER to life. She would be happy, thriving, driven AF, totally OK being alone, but fulfilled if she found someone who understood her fully and supported her.

But the difference with HER was that I never wanted to be that woman that tore other women down to rise. Growing up, I was on the receiving end of some really mean things. I was used and taken advantage of and I never liked that feeling. While I have really strong boundaries, I’m generally really giving of my time and network. I genuinely expect nothing in return. As I continue to grow and evolve, I realize I want to share everything so that other women can see the power is already inside all of us, but some times it just takes a while to find our own inner savages. There’s no secret to my drive, other than I fully believe in myself and I trust myself to figure it as I go. If I fall sometimes, it’s OK, it’s called growth. There’s no secret to my life. It’s not waiting for the right time, waiting until I’m in the mood, manifesting something, waiting for my astrological stars to be in alignment, etc. It’s literally, create the life you want, NOW. No excuses, sheer drive, planning, consistency and more planning.

I also genuinely wake up with so much energy every day. It definitely annoys the heck out of my husband. I’m so happy and grateful to see another day and make magic. Everyday I wake up telling myself, “you’re a savage so go on beast mode.” I attack every day with insane tenacity. I don’t know where it comes from, but I just think when you have clear purpose, intention and vision for your life, you genuinely want to live it out to the fullest. My daily schedule, which I only show a small portion of it on social, to the outside world is exhausting. Yet, for me, I just have so many ideas of things I want to do for myself, my business, my clients, I just don’t have enough money or resources to do it all. We all have enough time to do what we want to do and I never want to waste a minute. Now, resting is just as important and I do get my rest and take mental health days. I just have an insatiable drive where I truly operate from a place of gratitude every day. Especially after 2020, I am grateful for my health, my life and support system. I will not take it for granted. 

So if you’re wondering “Well Lissette, how can I build off of this?” Just ask yourself the tried and true question - What would you do if money wasn’t an issue? Here is my genuine answer.

I’d help women, connect with women, give back what I know so that women understand the innate power within themselves. How that will come to life? I don’t know yet, but I have my business with female entrepreneurs and talent, I hire women, I have a community of women on social, and now I have this blog. I will amplify my story and champion women at every touch point of my life.

Why I Run.

First, big apologies for the delay in posting, work and a very unforeseen covid infection took me out for a few weeks. Luckily, I am good and healthy again. Even with all the precautions my husband and I took dodging the virus for a year, we ended up positive. It was a very rough two weeks, so please wear your masks, and wash your hands. The virus is still very much around.

Now, to my neurotic running lifestyle. Let’s start off with the truth. Prior to 2018, I HATED running. Legit, capital H-A-T-E-D. While I was a competitive athlete for a big part of my life (cheerleader from high school, college and all-stars), I never understood running and I resisted it.  For me, true athleticism was countless hours in a hot warehouse with no A/C just jumping, tumbling, dancing and throwing women in the air followed by hours of conditioning. That’s all I knew. When someone said they were a runner, I’d side eye them and be like “Please, that’s easy. Where exactly are you running to? Like that’s so boring, you’re just going for hours on end. What’s the point?”

However, that was my way of deflecting that I was actually terrified of the thought of running. Not because of the strength, consistency and sheer grit it takes, but because for me running was a sport that seemed solitary. It’s just you and the road with your thoughts. And I don’t like to be left alone with my thoughts. I’m an anxious person, who is insanely mental, and the thought of being left alone with my thoughts was a no go. I had only known team sports, so being alone on a path to just think was not something I was willing to embark on. I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

I decided to start running after years of watching badasses run the NYC Marathon every year. Then in 2017, I thought to myself, “how cool would it be if I were on the other side running and not just cheering?” As I thought the words, I saw a BLIND MAN and his guide run by me tethered together by a rope.  I literally froze and started crying at the sight of it. Sometimes it’s the weirdest things that trigger the most insane reactions. I started crying because here I was a healthy 33 year old at the time complaining and debating about running a marathon when this blind man would probably do ANYTHING to be able to SEE the path he is running and the beauty of NYC in its full glory. It was a full blown Forrest Gump moment, I just started running and never looked back. Whatever pre-conceived notion I had about running, I threw out the window. I told myself, that I would never complain about something I had no idea about and much less take my health for granted. I was running for a man I never knew and will likely never meet.

I went from never running to accomplishing the below in two years.

• 2018 Women’s Shape Half Marathon (13.1 miles)

• 2018 Queens 10K (6 miles)

• 2019 Queens 10K (6 miles)

• 2019 Bronx 10 Miler

• 2019 NYC Marathon (26.2 miles)

• 2020 Miami Half Marathon (13.1 miles)

Here is everything I learned from thrusting myself into running, and especially after training 9 months for the marathon and completing it!

• Running a half marathon and then the marathon was the most terrifying thing I’d ever done. The anxiety that kicked in the week of the marathon was insane. I threw up a few times because I was like “there’s no turning back now,” but it taught me there is no such thing as “I can’t.” You CAN do anything you put your mind to. Unless you’re a complete quadrapelgic, you CAN run a marathon, because people in wheelchairs complete marathons, with their arm strength. So it has allowed me to realize that limiting beliefs have no place in my world. Excuses are for people who don’t want it bad enough.

• I gained a community of like-minded individuals and friends who keep me accountable. One thing about adulthood that kinda sucks is that team sports is not like a thing. There’s this huge focus on it to do sports when you’re young and unless you go pro, it just phases out. Running gave me that feeling again from my cheerleading days of having a team of people to go through a shared experience with and much more who kept me accountable throughout the process. The NYC running community is sooooo beyond amazing. I’m so grateful for my WilPower Family and the countless other crews who let me run with them like Harlem Run and Saturday Morning Run Crew. Also, for me, with my business, I’m in front of a computer ALL DAY so it’s such a necessary escape to be outside, tech-free with no disruptions.

• Running consistently for the past three years made me truly love, honor and respect my body. I look at my body and find it to be insanely beautiful yet savage at the same time. Negative self talk about my body is no longer part of my thought process. Training for a marathon forces you to get to know your body in a very intimate way. From knowing what’s an injury to just an ache, to knowing your breathing cadence to monitoring your heart rate on runs, to countless doctors visits for preventative management (because for me I already have a heart murmur so I was constantly checking to make sure my heart was taking the really long runs well) and then there’s crossing the finish line without an injury. Even now in this pandemic, with about 7 pounds extra I’m carrying, I could care less because my body has done something that only .01% of the world’s population has done, and that’s be a MARATHONER. If I could share this feeling with any person who may not love their body, I would. Running made me love running not for vanity, but for the following…..

• It controls my anxiety. I didn’t understand it, until months into my marathon training when I remember just being so overjoyed about life constantly. I would wake up happy, I would go to sleep happy. Things that in the past would trigger me, I would handle so calmly and efficiently. Mind you 2019, in context, was a rough year. I was running my business (just the demands of that would make anyone nuts), traveling 1-2 times a month, we were buying a condo, moving into the condo, then there was the actual training for the marathon (which is a full time job) and everything else in between and while I was spread so thin, I didn’t care. I was just so happy, CONSTANTLY. At first, I thought it was because I'm a creature of structure. Training gave me structure and something to do every day so it kept me mentally busy, but then someone dropped into my running crew’s group chat the article below and then I was like “OMG, this!” If you do one thing, PLEASE READ the article below. It breaks down the full effects of what’s happening to me when I run. 

For Depression and Anxiety, Running Is a Unique Therapy

So while many people may see me now knocking out 3-5 miles on random days for fun and then slowly start picking up the mileage to work my way back up to be prepared for a half marathon, know that I only started 3 years ago, and when I did, I could barely finish a mile in 12 minutes. However, I also hired a professional marathon running coach to guide me. Yet, through it all I remained consistent with myself because there is no cheat code to running. You have to show up for yourself each and every time. But really, that’s just a general life mantra.

Getting a Dog Made Me A Better Person.

Not the kind of blog post you were expecting, huh? So my husband and I are the paw-rents of a 5-year-old French Bulldog, Tego. Named after the Puerto Rican Reggaeton OG Tego Calderon. The journey to getting a dog was a tough one, but here’s an odd confession.

Prior to having a dog myself, I hated dogs and I hated people who had them. I didn’t understand why anyone would want a creature who smells, poops, peeps and sheds in their home. I was such a bitch to anyone who had a dog. If someone had a dog in their home, I would straight up ask them to put their dog somewhere, where it wouldn’t interact with me or be close to me. If there was dog hair on the sofa, I wouldn’t sit on the sofa. I would stand as a form of protest. I would tell the dog owner that dogs are disgusting. Legit, looking back now, I was such a bitch, like cold-hearted BITCH. 

Then when my husband and I moved in together, when we were still dating, and he kept saying “let’s get a dog.” I always would say “never, sorry, I don’t like dogs, I don’t want the responsibility and they’re gross.” Yet, the more I thought of my man, it dawned on me that he never asked me for anything, so how can I be so selfish to not allow a dog in our home because of my own stubbornness. So I said “yes, we can get a dog,” not even knowing what the hell I was signing up for and for weeks I hated the very thought of a dog entering our home. 

But life always has a way of giving you doses of what you need, when you need it most. What I didn’t know is that this creature was about to change my life. You see I started my business in July 2015 and I had gone from working in a high-rise quintessential NYC corporate office, seeing hundreds of people a day to waking up throwing on some sweats and walking to my desk just a few feet away. Seeing no one just me, my husband, my computer and the TV. It was so, so lonely and it took an emotional toll on me. 

Fast forward, we bring Tego home in December 2015 as a three month old puppy and the beginning was horrible. I had NO IDEA how intense a puppy is and the crate training. After two months, because I’m a control freak, I made my husband come home one day in the middle of the day because I was having a catastrophic panic attack over Tego. Over how disruptive he’s been to my routine, how now I’m just cleaning piss all day long. Like crying so hard I could barely speak. He’s like “so what do you want to do? You want to give him back?” I was like “OMG, no, I like him, but I can’t handle this puppy phase.”

Then I was like “wait, did i just say out loud, I like Tego.” At that moment, I realized I was talking to Tego daily like he was my co-worker and he was keeping me company during really lonely times working from home. He gave me a routine with our daily walks. He gave me fun play time to just be silly. Stuff I had never really done. He gave me a whole new community of friends -- other dog owners! 

You see he taught me that being in control all the time is not that cool. Take life a little easier. Learn to be affectionate. Dogs are so simple and us, as humans, we make life so complex. I was in shock that he saw me as part of his pack and it’s so crazy to see this connection with a creature that can’t even talk, but he tells you exactly how he feels. He just wants to give love and receive love. 

And dogs are so beyond intuitive. I believe they operate at a different more awesome energy level than humans. I remember the first time I told him I loved him. You see this pic below. I had a HORRIBLE stomach virus. I also had a business trip that day and I was so pissed because I had to cancel the trip. I couldn’t keep anything down and felt so weak. Yet, the minute I would lay on the sofa, Tego came and plopped on me, like he knew I felt so, so bad. I had never experienced animal affection like that. The thing about Tego at that age was that his cuddles were in 10 minute intervals. But at this time, he laid on me for hours and at points he laid on me while staring me in the eyes. I remember being like “what is that you’re trying to tell me?” and I’m like “why are you complicating this, Lissette? He just wants you to know he’s here for you.” Then I told him I loved him. 

This whole entry sounds like a crazy dog lady, and it’s because I am. I’m genuinely so happy my husband was so persistent about getting a dog because now I can’t ever imagine our home without one. And during this pandemic, oh man, Tego was our saving grace. 

My Guiding Principles & Daily Affirmations

One thing about me, is that I am forever my own hype woman. I don’t rely on other people to make me happy or complete me. I find my own happiness inside and oddly enough, I’ve been like this my whole life. Growing up, I had a lot of the same issues young girls have. I was very overweight as a teen (hitting 190 at 14 years old), my parents were super strict in general so I couldn’t do a lot of things my other “rebel” friends were doing, I didn’t have my first boyfriend until I was a sophomore in college, so a late bloomer in the love department. And yet I was never phased by anything. I was never trying to be the cool girl, never seeking other people’s approval and much less, never chasing a boy (I do credit having a wild older brother to teach me how crazy boys are). I never cared that I was heavy because even when I was heavy, I thought I was fly as hell.

Somehow I developed a super strong mindset as a young kid. Because any of those “problems” when you’re in high school is like life shattering, especially when my high school message board had a thread dedicated to the “fat cheerleaders,” which included a lot of pictures of me, so I was on the receiving end of bullying in high school. 

I credit my dad and his super duper positive outlook on life, which now as an adult, I am so grateful for. When you’re in third grade and your dad puts on Anthony Robbins tapes instead of the radio, you’re definitely annoyed at your dad. But seriously, I think listening to positivity daily seeped in unconsciously that even at a young age, you need to hear “you can do anything you put your mind to.”

So here is a running list of my guiding principles and affirmations that I repeat, over and over and over again.

• Don’t give people the satisfaction to know that their words affect you. / This was cemented in me when I was bullied. I never gave anyone the satisfaction in person to know or think they affected me. I’d look them in the face and be like “wow, cool story.” Mean people want to know they affect you. I don’t do drama or confrontation. I am a master of the silent war.

• Everyone has problems, so don’t load your problems onto other people. / I’ve had really, really horrible things happen to me. I don’t sulk in them. I recognize that life is hard, life is not perfect and I don’t make my problems a public spectacle because I don’t need pity or unwarranted opinions/comments. I work through them and let time heal.

• If you don’t like something, then fix it. / Literally, just that. 

• You can’t make everyone happy and not everyone is going to like you. That’s OK, as long as you lead your life with authenticity and integrity, and without maliciousness, then you’re good. 

• Treat people the way you would want to be treated.

• You can. End of Story.

• Excuses are for people who don’t want it bad enough. 

• Failure is not an option.

• Respect every person’s journey.

• You are 100% THAT BITCH.

This affirmations post will likely turn into an ongoing series, because I got more where this came from. 

What are some phrases and quotes that keep you going?

How I Maximize My Productivity

One of the questions I get the most is “how do you do it all?” As humans, we juggle a lot between our professional, personal and family commitments.  I work between 10-12 hours a day, workout at least 5-6 days a week, run the household, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner 5-6 days a week, nurture my marriage, etc. and still have down time, while cranking out non-stop results across my personal and professional commitments. 

My tenacity is a big part of my motivation, but also I created specific habits to help me control the use of my time to set me up for success every day.

• Identify and Protect Your High Productivity Windows / In my professional role, I write a lot of documents and/or have to read word heavy documents. I already know I’m a morning person and my brain is the clearest and on point for my complex tasks between 8am and 11am. That time for me is sacred. That’s when I produce the most.  Nothing gets scheduled during that window. When clients ask for a call at that time, the answer is “I’m unavailable,” and then I provide them with times I am available.

• Limit Calls and Meetings / Learning when you’re the most productive really makes you want to have more time to yourself to produce. Even when I was in corporate, I kept as many calls and meetings off of my schedule, including from clients. Calls and meetings are so disruptive and destructive to productivity.  

At my previous jobs I would openly ask my bosses, “do you pay me to be in a meeting to sit there to listen to information I can read for myself or do you pay me to produce results because I can’t produce in that meeting/call?” The answer was always “yeah you can sit this call/meeting out.” After a while, they wouldn’t even bother me anymore and all of sudden I was productive driving results for my clients. I would say these things even as a junior level person. It’s not about being in a place of power or owning a business to be empowered to say these things, but time is so sacred and it’s OK to clearly communicate what is the best use of your time for the business.

My schedule now is something like this, client calls only happen on Tuesdays (and a lot of time they are cancelled if we don’t have anything actionable to discuss that can’t be handled via email). Then I try to shove all other calls on Thursdays, so that I’m free from calls Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays. I always at a minimum block two full work days of no calls or meetings. I do this because if I’m going to be disrupted for one call, then I’ll take a day of disruption to then regain days of no disruption. 

How I weed out time wasters is simple. When someone asks you if you can take a call at a certain time. It doesn’t mean you have to take it. I always respond with something like “Unfortunately, I’m not available this week due to client deliverables, but I’m available on XYZ DATE. (which I purposely make it like 2 weeks out). However, I’m available via email to discuss if the need is more immediate.” Guess what? All of a sudden, that call turned into an email and we were able to discuss the need via email. 

Let’s address the one resistance comment I get all the time about my approach, “But Lissette, you don’t report to anyone.” WRONG! I report to about 10 clients, and usually clients are more demanding than bosses. I was honest with all of my clients and gave them all the same message. You pay me to produce not be on a calls. Every minute you take away from me, is a minute lost of pitching, managing a campaign, etc. So time management is a two way street. Basically, I control my time. No one else. This is an unlearning of bad productivity habits for a new one. 

• Everything Gets Placed in the Calendar / I have a lot of tasks to do daily and the way I tackle them is to block out windows of time where I only focus on one client at a time. I wake up in the AM, open my calendar app and knowing what I have to get done in the day I start blocking out 2-3 hour windows per client/need. So lets say if Client X texts me but I’m in the Client Y window time, I don’t respond. I wait until I get to Client X time to respond. This takes a lot of control, focus and constant training to not let unrelated distractions from a specific window of time steer you off course. The same way I schedule specific work tasks, I schedule in my breaks, lunch, walk Tego, workout, therapy check in, etc.

• My Emails Don’t Control Me, I Control Them / One thing I see a lot of people struggle with, is their emails. Everyone lets their emails control them to be in a constant state of just answering emails because everyone wants their responses ASAP to show others how busy they are. Applying my client work block method applies the heaviest to my emails. I only answer emails relating to the client I’m working on at that time. I don’t get distracted by incoming emails. My clients already know they wont get responses from me the same day sometimes. Why? Because I’m paid to produce results not send an email response with “ok, thank you.”

• Shut Off All Phone Notifications / Shut them all off. The only notifications I get are for text messages and phone calls. All apps including social media notifications are shut off. Our brains are already so overly stimulated. These apps’ main goal with the notifications is to keep us on our devices and also they are just disruptive AF. I go into my apps when I’m ready and check notifications then. At this point, it’s insanely hard to do business via email, text message, FB messenger, IG messenger, LinkedIn. Sorry I’m one person, I tell everyone, business for me is done on email and social is fun for me. So when someone tries to do business on DM, you will always be given my email because I can’t keep up. 

So that’s all I got for today! Do you have any productivity hacks I should know about? I’m always looking for new ways to evolve my productivity and efficiencies.

Big Dreams Require Big Restructuring

Shot by Victoria Lewis at Uptown Shots!

“What is the best use of your time?” That question has been forever engraved in my head from the minute I started Chic Influence. That question, which is my guiding mantra, was given to me by my husband. You see, as the title says, big dreams require big restructuring. You can’t expect to lead the life you’ve always had while trying to attain things you’ve never had. It’s really that simple, but I notice it’s so hard for people to put it into practice because big restructuring is very uncomfortable, and requires sacrifice, discipline and willpower. 

As humans, we resist big life changes. We will come up with every excuse as to why something can’t be done with justification to bad habits, but I guarantee you there is a solution for every excuse we come up with. Unless you are completely bedridden, some things may be unattainable, but when you see a blind person run a marathon, you realize, “yeah, I make a lot of excuses for things.” It all comes down to time management, a “can” mentality versus “can’t” and managing your finances.

So when I left my structured corporate job where my paycheck arrived to my bank account no matter what for entrepreneurship, my husband sat me down and told me “now, the way you allocate your time and resources will directly dictate your income.” I resisted that. I’m like “why can’t I run a business AND have a social life?” Well I learned the hard, hard way, that when you’re launching and running a business, somethings have got to give because unfortunately, you can’t have it all. (I’m realistic AF. The whole “you can have it all” is not really true. You may be able to have it all, but it’s not all going to happen at the same time). 

Businesses, and dreams as a whole, require so much attention, nurturing and sacrifices, CONSISTENTLY. I had to make “tough” decisions. For example (and to keep this blog post shortish I’m using simple examples), I made every excuse as a broke ass entrepreneur why I needed to hold onto my Equinox membership ($275/month). My husband was like “That’s a horrible use of money. You can join Planet Fitness for $20/month, the same amount you pay Equinox one month, you can work out for a whole year.” That push back really made me realize how much I justified bad financial and time behaviors. No one needs an Equinox membership, and then I started doing cost analysis of needs versus wants. Because it wasn’t just the cost of the gym membership that I was wasting money on, I was wasting my time. My nearest Equinox location was 20 minutes away via subway each way, so between one thing and another I was wasting hours a week of productive time just commuting to the location when I had a Planet Fitness down the street from my place. Once I did a full time and cost analysis, I could no longer justify being an Equinox member. This same scenario can be applied to so many aspects of your life, especially with FRIVOLOUS spending that we all justify. Like how many people in my circle are pressuring me to buy a Peloton bike. Can I afford the bike? Yes. Do I want the bike? Yes. Do I need the bike? No. Because that massive investment takes away from my next real estate purchase I’m saving for. I want another property MORE than I want an at-home bike. There are way cheaper ways to burn calories.

Another example of how I had to massively restructure my life even though I wanted to make every excuse as to why I couldn’t do it was training for the NYC marathon. You see in my head, no one is busier than me. I run a business, which alone is the most time and soul crushing activity, I have a marriage, I run a household, and in 2019 we were buying a condo and moving, which was another feat.  Also that year, I was traveling for work or pleasure twice a month, so how could I sustain a six day training schedule, especially when runs take up between 1-3 hours of time, and then factoring in the constant exhaustion of what it means to run 30 miles a week.

My marathon training team and the process was the most humbling activity of my life. For every excuse I came up with, my trainer and teammates had a solution. “Oh, I travel every month!” “OK,  one of our runners travels every week. He makes sure the hotel he is going to has a gym with a treadmill and plots out safe running paths in the location they’re going to.” I was like “ugh, you’re right!” “But you, guys I’m so busy.” One of my teammates “I have 4 kids and I wake up at 4am to get my runs in.” And then I was like “ok, yeah, I’m not busier than a mom with 4 kids.” The biggest learning was that instead of coming up with reasons to not do something, it trained me to always look for solutions. It meant that I could do EVERYTHING I needed to do — work, train and have a life — but it meant some big changes were coming.

I had to cut out all social activities on Fridays because Saturdays were long run days that started at 6am. It meant weekdays I woke up at 5am every day to get my training in. It meant cutting out alcohol so I can be at peak performance. It was a 9 month exercise in making choices to conquer those 26.2 miles and attain the title of Marathoner, which only .01% of the world’s population has! But that journey was a life exercise that reminded me that whatever I want, I need to shift my mindset that I CAN do whatever I want, but it’s that I was CHOOSING not to. Sometimes choosing not to is OK, but don’t say you “can’t” do something because you “can.” While I was training, people were like “yeah, I can’t run a marathon.” And I always had the same response, “If I can, you can. You can run a marathon, you just choose not to. That’s OK.” The reasons I always called people out on the use of “can’t” is because it’s a limiting belief that has a very unconscious way of limiting additional dreams.

So every day I choose to do something to get me closer to my dreams and goals, and those choices come with sacrifices and I’m OK with that because I’m seeing things that others don’t.

So this felt like a big rambling session. I honestly really struggled on how to best present this information, but would love to know from you -- Do you find yourself making excuses for why you can’t do something? What are small changes you can make to help you realize you CAN do something and putting a plan in place for it? (Reminder, good things don’t happen overnight.)

My One Year Rule.

Shot by Victoria Lewis at Uptown Shots!

While this blog and many of my own life actions seem like an out-of-the-blue decision to the outside world and even to those closest to me, everything I do in my life is so beyond calculated. Every step and decision I make goes through my self-imposed “one year rule.”

What is this “one year rule”?

Contrary, to the current world of “go, go, go, just do it now.” I sit with every big decision or goal I want to achieve for one year. As far back as to when I was 22 years old when I implemented the one year rule for my decision to get a breast augmentation. (Wow! Shocking, who cares? Let’s normalize elective cosmetic procedures). When a thought, goal or idea gets in my head and I realize I can’t shake it off for a few days, I put a calendar alert for one year from that day and I sit with that goal/idea/want by myself for no less than 365 days. I don’t tell anyone about it, not even those closest to me, mainly because I want to understand the full picture of my goals, dreams and wants, and how it can come to life before I start talking about it. 

Another reason I don’t tell people is that I don’t want other people to put their own self-imposed doubts and fears on me to not let me second guess myself. (Like when I didn't tell anyone I wanted to leave Miami for another city and started interviewing for jobs in different cities so I started the plan to leave Miami). I know what works for me and my life. There’s a difference between looking for support and looking for validation. Most people tell their plans to a lot of people looking for validation and most of the time when you do that, you will be let down because most people don’t understand big dreams. So since they don’t understand it, they will not support it. It’s just normal for it to happen because big dreams are uncomfortable. They make everyone around you uncomfortable so they go into protective mode by shooting ideas down. Like when I told my parents I wanted to move to New York. They panicked. They told me every reason why it was a horrible idea, but I had data, research, excel sheets of how I could do it, with the salary that I was offered and I focused on what could go right. There was no changing my mind no matter how many pleas to stay from the people who brought me into this world.

Quick tangent about not speaking about my plans, I also believe in the power of a person’s word, especially my own word. Those that know me at this point, know that when I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it. Call it old school, but I expect people to live up to their words and promises, because that’s how I operate. So I don’t start speaking my ideas until I know I’m actually going to do it. 

Why do I believe in the power of the one year rule?

• It helps make my dreams actionable. Setting anything with a date automatically makes it actionable. Otherwise, it’s just an idea. I always put pen to paper. 

• The one year timing helps me ensure that I’m doing it for the right reasons. I ask myself, I am doing it truly for me or did it come into my head because it’s trendy right now and everyone else is doing it? Especially in the age of social media, you get almost hypnotized to need to do everything all the time. It’s OK not to. I haven’t even done an IG reel, just did my first IGTV after it had been around for more than a year. I’m writing a blog. How anti-trendy is that? But guess what? It’s what I want to do. I don’t let trends guide me. I asked myself “how can I bring value to those around me?” Writing a blog was my answer. Don’t be pressured to do anything because everyone else is. That’s when you lose your magic. 

• The one year rule allows me to think about not only why am I doing it, but so many other questions like do I have the bandwidth to do it? Is it going to cost me money? If so, how much? What potential risks and negative outcomes could come out of it if I take this on? I analyze the entire risk, reward cycle of my goals, dreams and wants.

• What this one year rule is not - is not just sitting and waiting for the inspiration to bring it to life or “manifesting” the idea. It’s a year of WORK, planning, plotting, saving, researching, so once I’m ready to move forward, I have everything in place to hit go. I’m a very spiritual person, but there’s another side where people blame their laziness on spirituality, their horoscope sign, their feelings, etc. The only difference between entrepreneurs and “want-a-preneurs” (people who want to be one and always say they’re going to start something but they don’t) is that entrepreneurs don’t wait until they are in the “mood” to start something, wait until they’re inspired or wait until the time is right. It’s never a right time. For example, my husband is opening a new location to Uptown Shots in the middle of a global pandemic as we prep for a major recession, but he analyzed the risk/reward cycle. He just had to take the opportunity and if it fails, then so be it. He will figure it out. For me, I am not inspired or in the mood 90% of the time, but I hold MYSELF accountable for bringing my goals and dreams to life.

So that’s all I got for right now. What are your thoughts on the one year rule?

But First, Get to Know Me!

Shot by Victoria Lewis at Uptown Shots!

AH! OK, here I am with a whole ass blog. I’ve been putting this off for a long time, but the time is here and I’m truly excited to be on this journey! So let’s kick this off with an introduction :)

Let’s start with how the world defines me.  I’m the founder of Chic Influence, a New York City-based public relations and talent management agency. Professionally, I’ve spent the past 15 years in the public relations, marketing and talent management industries where I’m able to bring together my obsession with the business of beauty along with my love of storytelling via product campaigns and branded content with a focus on diversity. I currently work with the some of the world’s most known content creators and emerging beauty brands. Simply put, I do dope shit with dope people. 

Now, how I like to define myself. I’m a human, passionate about achieving all of my goals and dreams by any means necessary, but always with integrity and compassion. My whole life, people have put me in a box because boxes and labels make other people comfortable. However, my journey to who I am is layered and complex.

I am the daughter of Cuban refugees who fled in the early 1960s at the peak of the Cuban revolution. Born and raised in Miami into a family business (Check them out here Enrique Munoz Studio). I started working at the age of 5 because my family and I were literally raised at the studio. So when most people my age (36) started working at 16-17 years old, I already had 10+ years of work experience under my belt. By the time I was 12 my mom and I opened up an invitation store, which we had for 8 years before I decided that I wanted a corporate job (because the grass is always greener on the other side, right?) 

My college years felt like such an unnecessary chore. I proudly went and graduated from Florida International University, but I was frustrated for the whole 4 years because I felt like I was being forced to be “book smart” when I already knew what the real world was like. My disruptive nature really kicked in, in college. I would negotiate with my professors who would teach from slides because for me time was money. I could be at the invitation store working rather than have someone regurgitate information I could read for myself. So after the second class when I saw the teaching patterns, I’d go to the professor and be like “Look, I can’t learn like this. I’m a visual and interactive learner. If you’re going to read off of slides, I’ll just follow the syllabus, turn in all of my assignments on time, and I’ll show up for test days, but I’m not coming to class to fall asleep. I’m just keeping it 100.” Most professors were shocked, but they loved my approach because I was honest. They told me, no student had ever been so blatantly honest, but I followed through on my promise. They couldn’t argue with me because I graduated from FIU with a 3.9 GPA.

So I nab an amazing job right out of college at a global PR firm. I’m like “I made it!” I spent four years working in PR in Miami and then I’m bored/comfortable. When things feel like they come too easy, I thrust myself into things that make me uncomfortable. I don’t know why I’m wired like this, but I literally want to feel rock bottom, in order to rebuild myself up again. That’s when growth happens, for me at least. So I move to NYC with no friends, no family, no network. Just a job and my poor excuse for winter clothes. I stripped every comfort and luxury I had known. At 25 years old in NYC, I actually start paying bills. I learned so much, but I LOVED starting at nothing, knowing no one and really, truly hustling.

I rise quickly up the corporate ladder. I came to NYC as a Senior Account Executive in 2010 and by 2015 I’m the Senior Vice President of a Global PR Firm working on the world’s biggest brands. That growth is unheard of, but there was no secret to it. I worked and ASKED for everything I wanted. I learned that the only way to get what you want is to work harder and smarter than even the most senior level person in the room.

Then, BOOM, I reach this unimaginable title at a young age, compared to everyone else at my title level, and I’m bored again. I’m comfortable. So I do the logical thing (I’m being highly sarcastic right now), I resign (my parents were equal parts horrified and supportive) and start my own business. At that point I was with my then boyfriend now husband, who is my biggest mentor and greatest inspiration, and as an entrepreneur himself, he kept holding a mirror up to me and being like “you can do this for yourself.” So with his support, I dove head first into starting my own company.

So I’m back to starting over, and not only do I start over, I create the DNA of Chic Influence to be the complete opposite of how Corporate America trained me and in turn I create a disruptive yet profitable company in “two markets” (remember, people love boxes) - “General Market” and “US Hispanic.” But for me, I’m just operating as a culturally connected business owner catering to the diverse makeup of this country as a whole, not in boxes. GASP! 

So this blog post is getting too long, I’m also a wife, daughter, sister, marathoner, dog mom, and so much more.

Here’s to living life on YOUR terms, and as I peel back the layers of my mindset one blog post at a time, I hope you feel inspired to look at your dreams and goals as completely attainable, but it’s going to get very uncomfortable and disruptive in the process!