Big Dreams Require Big Restructuring

Shot by Victoria Lewis at Uptown Shots!

“What is the best use of your time?” That question has been forever engraved in my head from the minute I started Chic Influence. That question, which is my guiding mantra, was given to me by my husband. You see, as the title says, big dreams require big restructuring. You can’t expect to lead the life you’ve always had while trying to attain things you’ve never had. It’s really that simple, but I notice it’s so hard for people to put it into practice because big restructuring is very uncomfortable, and requires sacrifice, discipline and willpower. 

As humans, we resist big life changes. We will come up with every excuse as to why something can’t be done with justification to bad habits, but I guarantee you there is a solution for every excuse we come up with. Unless you are completely bedridden, some things may be unattainable, but when you see a blind person run a marathon, you realize, “yeah, I make a lot of excuses for things.” It all comes down to time management, a “can” mentality versus “can’t” and managing your finances.

So when I left my structured corporate job where my paycheck arrived to my bank account no matter what for entrepreneurship, my husband sat me down and told me “now, the way you allocate your time and resources will directly dictate your income.” I resisted that. I’m like “why can’t I run a business AND have a social life?” Well I learned the hard, hard way, that when you’re launching and running a business, somethings have got to give because unfortunately, you can’t have it all. (I’m realistic AF. The whole “you can have it all” is not really true. You may be able to have it all, but it’s not all going to happen at the same time). 

Businesses, and dreams as a whole, require so much attention, nurturing and sacrifices, CONSISTENTLY. I had to make “tough” decisions. For example (and to keep this blog post shortish I’m using simple examples), I made every excuse as a broke ass entrepreneur why I needed to hold onto my Equinox membership ($275/month). My husband was like “That’s a horrible use of money. You can join Planet Fitness for $20/month, the same amount you pay Equinox one month, you can work out for a whole year.” That push back really made me realize how much I justified bad financial and time behaviors. No one needs an Equinox membership, and then I started doing cost analysis of needs versus wants. Because it wasn’t just the cost of the gym membership that I was wasting money on, I was wasting my time. My nearest Equinox location was 20 minutes away via subway each way, so between one thing and another I was wasting hours a week of productive time just commuting to the location when I had a Planet Fitness down the street from my place. Once I did a full time and cost analysis, I could no longer justify being an Equinox member. This same scenario can be applied to so many aspects of your life, especially with FRIVOLOUS spending that we all justify. Like how many people in my circle are pressuring me to buy a Peloton bike. Can I afford the bike? Yes. Do I want the bike? Yes. Do I need the bike? No. Because that massive investment takes away from my next real estate purchase I’m saving for. I want another property MORE than I want an at-home bike. There are way cheaper ways to burn calories.

Another example of how I had to massively restructure my life even though I wanted to make every excuse as to why I couldn’t do it was training for the NYC marathon. You see in my head, no one is busier than me. I run a business, which alone is the most time and soul crushing activity, I have a marriage, I run a household, and in 2019 we were buying a condo and moving, which was another feat.  Also that year, I was traveling for work or pleasure twice a month, so how could I sustain a six day training schedule, especially when runs take up between 1-3 hours of time, and then factoring in the constant exhaustion of what it means to run 30 miles a week.

My marathon training team and the process was the most humbling activity of my life. For every excuse I came up with, my trainer and teammates had a solution. “Oh, I travel every month!” “OK,  one of our runners travels every week. He makes sure the hotel he is going to has a gym with a treadmill and plots out safe running paths in the location they’re going to.” I was like “ugh, you’re right!” “But you, guys I’m so busy.” One of my teammates “I have 4 kids and I wake up at 4am to get my runs in.” And then I was like “ok, yeah, I’m not busier than a mom with 4 kids.” The biggest learning was that instead of coming up with reasons to not do something, it trained me to always look for solutions. It meant that I could do EVERYTHING I needed to do — work, train and have a life — but it meant some big changes were coming.

I had to cut out all social activities on Fridays because Saturdays were long run days that started at 6am. It meant weekdays I woke up at 5am every day to get my training in. It meant cutting out alcohol so I can be at peak performance. It was a 9 month exercise in making choices to conquer those 26.2 miles and attain the title of Marathoner, which only .01% of the world’s population has! But that journey was a life exercise that reminded me that whatever I want, I need to shift my mindset that I CAN do whatever I want, but it’s that I was CHOOSING not to. Sometimes choosing not to is OK, but don’t say you “can’t” do something because you “can.” While I was training, people were like “yeah, I can’t run a marathon.” And I always had the same response, “If I can, you can. You can run a marathon, you just choose not to. That’s OK.” The reasons I always called people out on the use of “can’t” is because it’s a limiting belief that has a very unconscious way of limiting additional dreams.

So every day I choose to do something to get me closer to my dreams and goals, and those choices come with sacrifices and I’m OK with that because I’m seeing things that others don’t.

So this felt like a big rambling session. I honestly really struggled on how to best present this information, but would love to know from you -- Do you find yourself making excuses for why you can’t do something? What are small changes you can make to help you realize you CAN do something and putting a plan in place for it? (Reminder, good things don’t happen overnight.)