My One Year Rule.
Shot by Victoria Lewis at Uptown Shots!
While this blog and many of my own life actions seem like an out-of-the-blue decision to the outside world and even to those closest to me, everything I do in my life is so beyond calculated. Every step and decision I make goes through my self-imposed “one year rule.”
What is this “one year rule”?
Contrary, to the current world of “go, go, go, just do it now.” I sit with every big decision or goal I want to achieve for one year. As far back as to when I was 22 years old when I implemented the one year rule for my decision to get a breast augmentation. (Wow! Shocking, who cares? Let’s normalize elective cosmetic procedures). When a thought, goal or idea gets in my head and I realize I can’t shake it off for a few days, I put a calendar alert for one year from that day and I sit with that goal/idea/want by myself for no less than 365 days. I don’t tell anyone about it, not even those closest to me, mainly because I want to understand the full picture of my goals, dreams and wants, and how it can come to life before I start talking about it.
Another reason I don’t tell people is that I don’t want other people to put their own self-imposed doubts and fears on me to not let me second guess myself. (Like when I didn't tell anyone I wanted to leave Miami for another city and started interviewing for jobs in different cities so I started the plan to leave Miami). I know what works for me and my life. There’s a difference between looking for support and looking for validation. Most people tell their plans to a lot of people looking for validation and most of the time when you do that, you will be let down because most people don’t understand big dreams. So since they don’t understand it, they will not support it. It’s just normal for it to happen because big dreams are uncomfortable. They make everyone around you uncomfortable so they go into protective mode by shooting ideas down. Like when I told my parents I wanted to move to New York. They panicked. They told me every reason why it was a horrible idea, but I had data, research, excel sheets of how I could do it, with the salary that I was offered and I focused on what could go right. There was no changing my mind no matter how many pleas to stay from the people who brought me into this world.
Quick tangent about not speaking about my plans, I also believe in the power of a person’s word, especially my own word. Those that know me at this point, know that when I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it. Call it old school, but I expect people to live up to their words and promises, because that’s how I operate. So I don’t start speaking my ideas until I know I’m actually going to do it.
Why do I believe in the power of the one year rule?
It helps make my dreams actionable. Setting anything with a date automatically makes it actionable. Otherwise, it’s just an idea. I always put pen to paper.
The one year timing helps me ensure that I’m doing it for the right reasons. I ask myself, I am doing it truly for me or did it come into my head because it’s trendy right now and everyone else is doing it? Especially in the age of social media, you get almost hypnotized to need to do everything all the time. It’s OK not to. I haven’t even done an IG reel, just did my first IGTV after it had been around for more than a year. I’m writing a blog. How anti-trendy is that? But guess what? It’s what I want to do. I don’t let trends guide me. I asked myself “how can I bring value to those around me?” Writing a blog was my answer. Don’t be pressured to do anything because everyone else is. That’s when you lose your magic.
The one year rule allows me to think about not only why am I doing it, but so many other questions like do I have the bandwidth to do it? Is it going to cost me money? If so, how much? What potential risks and negative outcomes could come out of it if I take this on? I analyze the entire risk, reward cycle of my goals, dreams and wants.
What this one year rule is not - is not just sitting and waiting for the inspiration to bring it to life or “manifesting” the idea. It’s a year of WORK, planning, plotting, saving, researching, so once I’m ready to move forward, I have everything in place to hit go. I’m a very spiritual person, but there’s another side where people blame their laziness on spirituality, their horoscope sign, their feelings, etc. The only difference between entrepreneurs and “want-a-preneurs” (people who want to be one and always say they’re going to start something but they don’t) is that entrepreneurs don’t wait until they are in the “mood” to start something, wait until they’re inspired or wait until the time is right. It’s never a right time. For example, my husband is opening a new location to Uptown Shots in the middle of a global pandemic as we prep for a major recession, but he analyzed the risk/reward cycle. He just had to take the opportunity and if it fails, then so be it. He will figure it out. For me, I am not inspired or in the mood 90% of the time, but I hold MYSELF accountable for bringing my goals and dreams to life.
So that’s all I got for right now. What are your thoughts on the one year rule?