Why I Run.
First, big apologies for the delay in posting, work and a very unforeseen covid infection took me out for a few weeks. Luckily, I am good and healthy again. Even with all the precautions my husband and I took dodging the virus for a year, we ended up positive. It was a very rough two weeks, so please wear your masks, and wash your hands. The virus is still very much around.
Now, to my neurotic running lifestyle. Let’s start off with the truth. Prior to 2018, I HATED running. Legit, capital H-A-T-E-D. While I was a competitive athlete for a big part of my life (cheerleader from high school, college and all-stars), I never understood running and I resisted it. For me, true athleticism was countless hours in a hot warehouse with no A/C just jumping, tumbling, dancing and throwing women in the air followed by hours of conditioning. That’s all I knew. When someone said they were a runner, I’d side eye them and be like “Please, that’s easy. Where exactly are you running to? Like that’s so boring, you’re just going for hours on end. What’s the point?”
However, that was my way of deflecting that I was actually terrified of the thought of running. Not because of the strength, consistency and sheer grit it takes, but because for me running was a sport that seemed solitary. It’s just you and the road with your thoughts. And I don’t like to be left alone with my thoughts. I’m an anxious person, who is insanely mental, and the thought of being left alone with my thoughts was a no go. I had only known team sports, so being alone on a path to just think was not something I was willing to embark on. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I decided to start running after years of watching badasses run the NYC Marathon every year. Then in 2017, I thought to myself, “how cool would it be if I were on the other side running and not just cheering?” As I thought the words, I saw a BLIND MAN and his guide run by me tethered together by a rope. I literally froze and started crying at the sight of it. Sometimes it’s the weirdest things that trigger the most insane reactions. I started crying because here I was a healthy 33 year old at the time complaining and debating about running a marathon when this blind man would probably do ANYTHING to be able to SEE the path he is running and the beauty of NYC in its full glory. It was a full blown Forrest Gump moment, I just started running and never looked back. Whatever pre-conceived notion I had about running, I threw out the window. I told myself, that I would never complain about something I had no idea about and much less take my health for granted. I was running for a man I never knew and will likely never meet.
I went from never running to accomplishing the below in two years.
2018 Women’s Shape Half Marathon (13.1 miles)
2018 Queens 10K (6 miles)
2019 Queens 10K (6 miles)
2019 Bronx 10 Miler
2019 NYC Marathon (26.2 miles)
2020 Miami Half Marathon (13.1 miles)
Here is everything I learned from thrusting myself into running, and especially after training 9 months for the marathon and completing it!
Running a half marathon and then the marathon was the most terrifying thing I’d ever done. The anxiety that kicked in the week of the marathon was insane. I threw up a few times because I was like “there’s no turning back now,” but it taught me there is no such thing as “I can’t.” You CAN do anything you put your mind to. Unless you’re a complete quadrapelgic, you CAN run a marathon, because people in wheelchairs complete marathons, with their arm strength. So it has allowed me to realize that limiting beliefs have no place in my world. Excuses are for people who don’t want it bad enough.
I gained a community of like-minded individuals and friends who keep me accountable. One thing about adulthood that kinda sucks is that team sports is not like a thing. There’s this huge focus on it to do sports when you’re young and unless you go pro, it just phases out. Running gave me that feeling again from my cheerleading days of having a team of people to go through a shared experience with and much more who kept me accountable throughout the process. The NYC running community is sooooo beyond amazing. I’m so grateful for my WilPower Family and the countless other crews who let me run with them like Harlem Run and Saturday Morning Run Crew. Also, for me, with my business, I’m in front of a computer ALL DAY so it’s such a necessary escape to be outside, tech-free with no disruptions.
Running consistently for the past three years made me truly love, honor and respect my body. I look at my body and find it to be insanely beautiful yet savage at the same time. Negative self talk about my body is no longer part of my thought process. Training for a marathon forces you to get to know your body in a very intimate way. From knowing what’s an injury to just an ache, to knowing your breathing cadence to monitoring your heart rate on runs, to countless doctors visits for preventative management (because for me I already have a heart murmur so I was constantly checking to make sure my heart was taking the really long runs well) and then there’s crossing the finish line without an injury. Even now in this pandemic, with about 7 pounds extra I’m carrying, I could care less because my body has done something that only .01% of the world’s population has done, and that’s be a MARATHONER. If I could share this feeling with any person who may not love their body, I would. Running made me love running not for vanity, but for the following…..
It controls my anxiety. I didn’t understand it, until months into my marathon training when I remember just being so overjoyed about life constantly. I would wake up happy, I would go to sleep happy. Things that in the past would trigger me, I would handle so calmly and efficiently. Mind you 2019, in context, was a rough year. I was running my business (just the demands of that would make anyone nuts), traveling 1-2 times a month, we were buying a condo, moving into the condo, then there was the actual training for the marathon (which is a full time job) and everything else in between and while I was spread so thin, I didn’t care. I was just so happy, CONSTANTLY. At first, I thought it was because I'm a creature of structure. Training gave me structure and something to do every day so it kept me mentally busy, but then someone dropped into my running crew’s group chat the article below and then I was like “OMG, this!” If you do one thing, PLEASE READ the article below. It breaks down the full effects of what’s happening to me when I run.
For Depression and Anxiety, Running Is a Unique Therapy
So while many people may see me now knocking out 3-5 miles on random days for fun and then slowly start picking up the mileage to work my way back up to be prepared for a half marathon, know that I only started 3 years ago, and when I did, I could barely finish a mile in 12 minutes. However, I also hired a professional marathon running coach to guide me. Yet, through it all I remained consistent with myself because there is no cheat code to running. You have to show up for yourself each and every time. But really, that’s just a general life mantra.